NY Times Reports: Lots of Asians Go to Cal

The New York Times sent shockwaves through the news cycle this weekend when they published a feature article breaking the story that Asian kids are good at school. According to the Times, although Asians make up only 5% of the nation’s population, they are represented by much higher percentages at the country’s elite colleges — 24% at Stanford, 27% at MIT, and a whopping 41% at UC Berkeley, where the passage of Proposition 209 banned affirmative action and has forced admissions to be decided without regard to race.

“It’s totally unfair,” said Jonathan Evers, 17, who will be rejected from Berkeley this year. “They get really good grades, spend all their free time volunteering and playing the piano, and their test scores are off the map. What about me? What about the little guy? The little guy with a 1050 SAT who was counting on a soccer scholarship until he tore his ACL trying to pogo-stick across a freeway when he was totally fucking wasted? It’s like none of us even have a chance.”

Attempts to reach African-American students at Berkeley for comment were unsuccessful, as they had both gone out of town.