Bonds Steroid Indictment Stalled

All the members of the grand jury about to indict baseball star Barry Bonds for perjury in relation to the ongoing BALCO steroids investigation have disappeared.

Police are baffled, as the only evidence appears to be a giant man-shaped hole which has mysteriously appeared in the wall of the courtroom in which they were meeting. Police also found bloody cleats, several broken baseball bats, and an emotionally scarred bat boy who kept repeating “He just kept asking for a heavier bat. He just kept asking!”, but investigators dismissed these as unrelated to any crime that might’ve occurred.