Jessica Stein Causes Collective Pants-Creaming

America’s homosexual community is still in the process of collectively creaming its pants following the release of the film Kissing Jessica Stein which chronicles the painfully obvious story of a successful young woman who, fed up with men, learns the true meaning of love, lust, and friendship after meeting a quirky, free-spirited lesbian.

“It’s extremely encouraging to finally see homosexual themes being portrayed positively in the mainstream media,” said reviewers from Curve, On Our Backs, Out, The Advocate, Bust, and Anything That Moves. “Not since But I’m a Cheerleader has there been a movie exactly like this one.”

Jessica Stein has also struck a chord among heterosexual viewers. Said college student Chad Seamans of the flim, “I like the part when the two girls make out.”