Security Issues Abound at Cookie Monster’s Site

Cookie Monster’s new Web site, launched earlier this month, has come under harsh scrutiny by online security experts for its excessive reliance on internet “cookies,” files containing information about site users which are downloaded into their computers when visiting the site.

“Me love cookies!” Cookie Monser said in a statement released yesterday. “Everyone love cookies! Me share cookies with everyone! Everyone go to Cookie Monster Web place get cookies! Lots of cookies! Cookiecookiecookiecookiecookie!!!”

Monster’s fascination with Internet cookies seems to stem from the fact that he has trouble distinguishing between the computer files and actual baked Cookies. “I’ve tried to explain the difference to him [Cookie Monster], like, a hundred times,” said Howard Pierce, Monster’s chief Web consultant. “But every time I say the word ‘cookie’ he goes all crazy and starts stuffing [the other kind of] cookies into his mouth, and then they get all crumbled and fall out before he can swallow them and… well, it’s just really frustrating, that’s all.”

Users who turn off cookies on their browsers have had considerable trouble accessing the site. Long-time Cookie Monster fan and staunch Internet cookie opponent Len Mahali told reporters, “Every time I go to the site with cookies turned off this stupid window pops up and says ‘Why you no want cookie? You no like cookie? You not Cookie Monster’s friend if you no like cookie!’ What the fuck is that all about?”

Other users, such as Internet cookie enthusiast Sam Tomo, have called others’ concerns with the cookies “groundless.”