Guy Writes Newsflash

Squelch writer Matt Holohan wrote a newsflash earlier this afternoon, a nominally humorous tidbit which is already being assailed by critics as worthless postmodernist garbage. Holohan reportedly spent the first paragraph introducing the concept of the newsflash and included a vague allusion to the public’s reaction before providing actual quotes in paragraph two.

“This is bullshit,” said UC Berkeley professor John Bishop.”It [the newsflash] doesn’t make any sense. I can’t even tell what’s supposed to be going on. ”

Holohan wrapped up the piece by indirectly commenting on the heavy reliance of postmodernism in the piece, noting that the word “postmodern” or one of its derivatives had already been used three times by the end of the article.