In an effort to differentiate itself from its closest competitors, Omnidigi-syscom has changed its name to Neomicro-unitek. Marketing Director and active CE0 Phil Stenata explained, “We want to revolutionize the way people think about a company that delivers high quality computer and/or internet products and/or services. Our new name captures this bold new strategy.”
Asked to name even one “product” or “service” delivered by the company, Stenata replied, “Speaking of bold, have you seen our website? We’re online!!! Surf on over to www.geocities.com/televisionCity/4354/neomicro/index.html and check it out! ”
Omnidigi-syscom was founded in early 2000 when several corporations begged the Stanford sophomore to take $200,000 in venture capital. Despite having no active inventory, business license, or employess, Omnidigi-syscom’s intial public offering (IPO) made Stenata a multi-millionaire. He now lives in San Francisco’s Mission district, where he evicted several working class families to remodel their modest homes into a spatious Ikea furnished loft. He collects Pearl Jam bootlegs and gets blowjobs listening to Journey. He has a ponytail. He wears Abercrombie sweater vests and drives a Nissan Xterra. He’s never touched a surf board, but talks at length about how “insano” Maverick’s is. Phil Stenata is a fucking piece of shit.