As a fundraising stunt for the 2000
Democratic campaign, Vice President
Al Gore and California Governor Gray
Davis will compete in a nationwide
“America’s Dullest Man” election.
People across the country will be invited
to cast their vote to decide which
politician has attained the greatest mastery
of rehearsed hand gestures, cyclical
facial expressions and monotone
vocalization. Proceeds will go toward
beer, crack, whores, and crack whores
for the Democratic Party campaign
managers.
Although the election is meant in
fun, both candidates have stated desires
to win.
“I’m really excited,” Gore told
members of the press. “I mean, I would
be excited if I weren’t so dull.”
“I’m much less excited than Al is,”
Davis countered moments later. “But
I’d be a lot more excited than Al would
be if he weren’t so dull if I weren’t so
much duller than he is.”
It promises to be a close race.
