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Volume 8- Issue 6

Top Ten Ways to Break an Awkward Silence While on a Date

May 1, 1999
top ten
  1. Empty your colostomy bag onto the table.

  2. Talk about any surgery or sores you may have.

  3. Club a baby harp seal.
  4. Food fight
  5. Noogies
  6. Do your crazy Martin Van Buren impression.
  7. Limericks
  8. Tabasco chugging competition
  9. Table dance
  10. Casually ask, “Who’s your daddy?”
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