Comrade, Can You Spare Some Bread?

The Residence Hall Assembly has recently announced a dining reform plan for UC Berkeley Housing and Dining Services. The plan would provide for students’ unused meals at the end of the week not to be wasted, allowing for ID cards to be swiped in exchange for Oreos and Cheez-Nips. Housing and Dining, which takes its orders directly from the Politburo in Moscow, is standing firm. Comrade Svezhnov, Chief of Internal Affairs, could only offer the enigmatic statement that, “We work for the good of the students. Do you know where we can find them?”