1979: Overpopulation leads to water shortage and rampant cannibalism. Also, pastel pants fashionable.
1980: All vehicles now legally required to have doors that open vertically.
1982: New lethal strain of Saturday Night Fever discovered.
1983: First … Read More
The next step in a slowly advancing personal coup took place last Wednesday when Jared Demming’s friends once again invited acquaintance Jeff Dumar over for dinner. Demming, who was neither notified of the event nor welcome to attend it, reportedly … Read More
Pirates ended the careers of many a brave seaman, even those who survived the tumultuous waters south of Cape Horn, the monsters of the great Atlantic, and the pleasant oases of the Pacific. Pirates were feared for… Read More
Assisted Suicide Girl: Wheels
Looking For: Someone who can really take my breath away
Location: Bakersfield, CA
Sign: Cancer
Occupation: Model/actress/invalid (triple threat!)
Why I Did ASG: Voice-to-text program makes blogging … Read More
Let’s face it; the Internet had a lot to offer in its heyday: earth-shattering breakthroughs in communication, data access, and commerce, just to name a few. Yeah, the Internet was pretty cool.
Around the … Read More
Most people think that being a male porn star is a glamorous job. That all day it’s just sex and making that one face. But it’s not. For one
thing, it’s hard to tell where work ends and where … Read More
Everyone needs an enemies list. With all the talk of national disunity and the red/blue divide, I figure this “healing” is just a clever tactic. That’s right, they lull you into a false sense of security, … Read More
Sophomore William Hammersmith’s father was dismayed to learn yesterday that his son would be unable to “spend a semester flipping
burgers if you want a car,” because he is too un-Mexican.
“I’m a white male aged… Read More
According to police, it was probably an ongoing relationship of an “intimate and bestial/insectoid nature” between a common honeybee and a Mr. Darrel Motts that led to the deaths of both earlier this week.
“We believe that… Read More
Girls
Thor: [Grinning, surrounded by giggling wenches, showing off gleaming
warhammer] Yeah, I made this sweet little hunk of steel. Smithed her from the fire of a thousand stars. Oh, and did I mention that I
killed … Read More
