Double Homicide, Kitchen
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, hmmm, yes.
[Holmes paces up and down the dingy room excitedly, pausing briefly every few minutes to examine a loose screw or the victims’ shoes.]
Detective Brass: His … Read More
LC
Palazzo Apartments, #205. El Cerrito
Satisfied regulars describe LC’s weed as “dank” and “where are my keys.” Service is “butt-slow,” however; calling an hour ahead is recommended “so he can wake up and answer the door.” … Read More
Picture this: You’re casually practicing volleyball at a Malibu beach court with your handsome heterosexual best friend, Chet, discussing the subjects that every straight man thinks about: girls, highlighter shorts, the proper form for a leg press, watching football… Read More
As a Canadian living in America, I have come to realize that you guys know next to nothing about your neighbors to the north, nor do you express any desire to know us. What, you think you’re better … Read More
1. Go to your professors’ office hours, no matter how early they are. The interaction between student and old horny intellectual is a tradition dating back to Plato and Socrates. You won’t learn a damn thing, but … Read More
You: Honey, I’m home–what are you doing with that letter?
Her: [reading from letter] THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.
You: What the fuck? I put all this time into it and all I get is a lousy note?… Read More
Alta Plaza Park, San Francisco. Children
run, play tag, shriek as they climb on the jungle
gym. Some are Chinese, some Hispanic, others black
and others white. It is not hard today to look at
a… Read More
Sasquatch, the mythological creature believed by
many to be the missing-link between man and
Serena Williams, was discovered inside a
Chewbacca costume at a Star Wars role-playing
costume party last Thursday night.
Sasquatch made
a booming entrance… Read More
Allen Murdock’s 34-stop, self-guided wine-tasting tour through Napa Valley, East Oakland, and Amador City took a turn for the sacrilegious Wednesday when he made an erroneous stop at St. John’s Catholic Church.
After careening off Highway 29, … Read More
Last night in London, Thom Yorke, famed vocalist of rock group Radiohead, gave birth to what appears to be seven strong and healthy ferrets. The baker’s half dozen of rodents were delivered live on stage during a… Read More
