In English R1B Class
Satan: The mortal Jay Gatsby, like all other men before him, finds solace from the trials of his world in the path of sin!
GSI: Excellent, Satan! Class, see how he juxtaposes Judeo-Christian elements with the … Read More
Most people think that the Supreme Court is just a bunch of old white dudes who sit around reading all day and occasionally get up to have an opinion or aneurysm. This is pretty much true. However, what most people … Read More
Girls
Thor: [Grinning, surrounded by giggling wenches, showing off gleaming
warhammer] Yeah, I made this sweet little hunk of steel. Smithed her from the fire of a thousand stars. Oh, and did I mention that I
killed the evil serpent … Read More
I knew something had to be done the morning1 the button popped off my jeans2. Shocked and appalled, I realized that I could no longer ignore the cold, hard truth reflected3 in the mirror on the wall4. I was fat5.… Read More
In a shocking and ironic turn of events, Wurster Hall, famous for its training of the architects of tomorrow, collapsed today. The colossal gray building, deemed “goddamned hideous” by countless passersby, simply caved in on itself at 5:42 a.m., crushing … Read More
A growing problem among young girls in the U.S. is their tendency to set low goals for themselves. The seeds of underachievement can take root in little girls as young as three or four and can often be seen in … Read More
Claire Mitchell, a graphic designer in Newport Beach, California, has stated that she regrets spending $8.50 on a low-rise thong that was still visible above the waistline of her new Superlow Levi’s. “I was so excited to be able to … Read More
Home to some 60 inhabitants, all women, Alpha Omicron Pi projects an outward sense of elegance, even respectability. But for those who make their home within its bleak, labyrinthine halls, it is something else altogether.
The air reeks of estrogen … Read More
Citing what it referred to as “a growing trend of unchecked redundancy,” the Berkely Chamber of Commerce issued an indefinite moratorium on all jokes likening “The Hair Professor” to an actual college professor. The measure was endorsed unanimously by … Read More
