Brad White, a member of a fraternity on campus, had to leave a university mandated sexual assault awareness workshop early to pick up alcohol for the party his frat was hosting later that night.
“I was having a really… Read More
An interdisciplinary team of Harvard scientists is celebrating today after successfully building the first urinal you can poop in. The research team brought together top faculty from Harvard’s Mechanical Engineering, Cognitive Science, and Anthropology departments to solve what is … Read More
This morning, Commencement Chair George Maxler delivered a response to the controversy surrounding Bill Maher’s appointment as commencement speaker.
“We understand and apologize for the turmoil that has resulted from our decision. Bill Maher’s long history … Read More
An inquiry into the Bay Area Rapid Transit by the State of California has found that the sounds emitting from a BART train during its normal service route, often thought to resemble the ghoulish metallic shrieks of haunted souls serving … Read More
A study released Wednesday by the UC Berkeley Environmental Science department on the weather patterns of the Israeli desert has drawn heavy criticism from both pro Israel and pro-Palestinian factions on campus. The study, which found that the … Read More
Dear Readers,
Boy, this production has been a wild ride. We’ve committed some heinous acts in the name of comedy. We forced one of our best friends to take his pants off in a cold basement so we could … Read More
Blood rained from the sky Monday morning in Chapman, MI, as a thousand-tentacled affront to nature ripped through an inter-dimensional portal in local resident Brittany Goldman’s vagina.
“At first I thought I was… Read More
Hello reader,
As the new deputy creative editors, we thought we’d give a few words of friendly advice to those who dream of holding the glamorous position that we hold today. Now look, we’re not “better” or “… Read More
In what can only be described as a surprising turn of events, actor and former drug addict Charlie Sheen was right about everything he has declared in the past several weeks.
In response to what had previously been considered exaggerated… Read More
A press release from the Vatican announced Monday that cardinals researching in the field of theoretical deviance have hypothesized the existence of a “mouth-handjob,” a sexual act unlike any currently recognized by Vatican law.
“Imagine if … Read More
