The Heuristic Squelch® is a satirical newspaper published by The Heuristic Squelch®

The Heuristic Squelch® uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.

The content of this web-site graphics, text and other elements is © Copyright 2000 by The Heuristic Squelch®, and may not be republished or retransmitted in whole or in part without the express written consent of the publisher.

The Heuristic Squelch® is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.

The Heuristic Squelch is sponsored by the ASUC.
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