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A Flagrant Abuse of Editorial Power
Communication is a neat thing. It's neat not only because it gives sorority chicks something to major in while being completely blitzed out of their minds on coke, but also because there are so many ways to go about it. I would like to, using a simple example, explore some different avenues of communication. Call it Luke's Com. 101A if you will. Call it three scoop shit sundae with bubonic sludge topping.
A Few Words from the Top
Putzin' Around
Most people wait until right before graduation before reflecting upon their college experience. Unfortunately for me, only the evil demons within Sproul Hall and VLSB know when that date will be, and they refuse to tell me. So, in case I never get the chance again, this is my forum and here is my diatribe:
The English language, even though it is loaded up the wazoo with words, lacks an adequate synonym for the word "learn."
A Peculiar Problem
Nowadays the process of abortion seems simple enough. Barring interference from right-wing extremists who demand that you the let clump of cells in your womb grow into a healthy little welfare leech, getting rid of an unwanted pregnancy is, to put it simply, a piece of placenta-flavored cake. However, many women who have undergone this process are then faced with a rather pressing question: "Okay, I got the fetus out of me, now what do I do with it?"
How to Be a Misanthrope
On the Berkeley campus, it's hard to be a misanthrope. Everyone is constantly accosting you. It became clear about twelve minutes into my tenure at Berkeley that it was going to be mighty difficult to get people to leave me alone, and yet avoid retreating to a cabin in Montana and start blowing up people with better personal hygiene than myself.
So I came up with various self-defense mechanisms in order to protect myself from the obnoxious masses of the righteous.
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