New Meeting Room!

Come to Meetings of the Heuristic Squelch Wednesdays, 7PM at 262 Dwinelle!

Also, remember to read The Sqlog!

Chivalry for the Modern Gentleman

Hail and well met, bro! As a young gentleman newly arrived at manhood, thou hast undoubtedly asked thyself, “How may I conduct myself with honor and dignity, all the while consorting with beauteous wenches and smiting mine enemies?” Of course thou hast! Unless thou art some kind of pussy. Art thou? ART THOU?

I thought not! So stop crying and rejoice, for thy salvation is at hand!

SPORTS DESK: You Suck at Beer Pong

Since moving into your fraternity house in late August, you have spent every other night playing beer pong. Unfortunately, due to various factors, including your alleged summer-long abstinence from alcohol, your tolerance for Natty Ice has largely deteriorated. Coupled with your naturally bad hand-eye coordination, this has caused you to fail to win a single game of beer

Protesters Plan Tree-Sitter Sit

In an effort to challenge the University’s strict response to tree-sitters, protesters have recently announced plans to start a tree-sitter sit.

“First the University wanted to remove trees, so we had to protest by sitting in trees. Now the University wants to remove tree-sitters, so we have to protest by sitting on the tree-sitters already in the trees. It’s the

Tree Huggers Don't Bag It, Millions Perish

According to a joint statement issued by the USDA Forest Service and the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, a new virus called Sudden Oak Death is on the rise in the human community. The disease, originating from Western Oak trees, has been traced to the University of California, Berkeley, where a group of tree-sitters on the campus are believed to have first contracted and passed the disease to humans.

UCPD officer Thomas Laferty was at the scene when the plague claimed its first victim.

Graphics