Latest Issue!
The Glow of Victory

Vol. 19.0 Iss. 4.0

Available as PDF!
Top Ten Things With Which to Poke Out Your Eye
  1. Red Rider BB gun
  2. Lauren Bausch's breasts
  3. Circle jerk gone horribly awry
  4. Heimlich maneuver by Mr. T
  5. Contact lens
  6. Your other eye
  7. Mrs. Roper
  8. Malaise
  9. The concept of poking out your eye
  10. An eye-poker-outer

New Meeting Room!

Come to Meetings of the Heuristic Squelch Wednesdays, 7PM at 262 Dwinelle!

Also, remember to read The Sqlog!

Driving School
Taught By a Vietnam Vet
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Okay. Driving. Shit. It’s a lot like going native and building a secret jungle base decorated with human skulls: it requires planning and care.

How can I make you kids understand just what driving is like?

[sits in silence for ten minutes]

Well, I’ll guess I’ll try and explain it to those of you who didn’t leave while I smoked that cigarette.

Cartoonist to Draw Strip About Dog
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In an earth-shatteringly original move, aspiring cartoonist Jeff Kline announced today that he intends to create a new comic strip focusing on the adventures of a lovable dog named Spotsworth. “I think “Spotsworth” will be a real breakthrough,” said Kline. “Like no dog, real or cartoon, in history, Spot rips through genre boundaries both by minorly inconveniencing his

EECS Nude Protest Fails to Arouse Excitement, Anyone
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Although intended as a highly provocative show of support for the Net Neutrality Act, a nude protest staged this week by hundreds of EECS majors failed to garner the attention of the Berkeley student body.

“Mario Savio must be rolling in his grave,” said third-year nude protester Geoffrey Hsu, in an acne-ridden statement from just outside California Hall. “People

Primary Schools Hit Hard by Extra-Credit Crunch
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The unprecedented meltdown in the U.S. sub-prime housing market has rattled Wall Street, sent interest rates soaring, and made the procurement of cheap and easy loans a thing of the past. But the ramifications of the so-called “credit crunch” extend far beyond the financial sector, threatening one of the most cherished lynchpins of the American educational system—extra credit.

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Book Spring Break Vacations and check out Spring Break 2010 travel dates. Cheap All-Inclusive Spring Break Cancun trips – Save today!
Here is a Guide to private student loans and college student loan information from the iStudentLoan Blog. Also learn about private student loan consolidation.
Custom coffee mugs are a great way to commemorate student organizations that you are a part of for years to come.
UC Berkeley students can use promotional products such as promotional tote bags and promotional pens to show their school spirit. Show your school spirit with custom journals and promotional polo shirts branded with your school name or logo. UC Berkeley students use personalized water bottles for school sports and club programs. For an inexpensive way to promote your school organization hand out personalized pencils.