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Most people think of Dr. Seuss as the lovable children's author. Because of this, we've put together a collection of his most famous works and annotated them with informative notes writen by scholars named me. Also included in this exclusive look at Dr. Seuss's greatest accomplishments is an excerpt from a rough draft of his most popular work, The Cat in the Hat. Enjoy!

The Cat in the Hat

A press release from the Vatican announced Monday that cardinals researching in the field of theoretical deviance have hypothesized the existence of a "mouth-handjob," a sexual act unlike any currently recognized by Vatican law.

"Imagine if you will a type of handjob performed, not with the hand, but with some other part of the human anatomy: to wit, the mouth," stated Cardinal Ludwig of the Vatican's Center for Sexual Studies.

A recent poll by the California Department of Mental Health show many Californians believe that they represent the future of man-kind. In fact, more than 30 percent of those polled were surprised by their lack of superhuman powers such as flight and telekinesis.

"The reason we're better than everybody else," said Neil Everett, assistant manager of Chipotle Mexican Grill and native Californian, "is because, like, we're more forward thinking than most states.

Excitement overtook Soda Hall this weekend when the Team for Practical Artificial Intelligence Systems announced that they were ready for the beta-testing stages of their new Robotic Female College-Student Emulator, or R.F.C.S.E. The team has been working diligently for over a year, and claim that their new model will revolutionize the social experiences of countless Engineering students by allowing them to speak to a girl for the first time.