Come to meetings!

These young auteurs are transforming cinema one film at a time. Even if each film is basically the same as the last. In these excerpts from their newest ventures, we see them condense their bold visions into the most perfect forms yet.

Video store patron John Gretchen's hopes of renting the late-90's hit movie Three Kings were sadly crushed last Saturday night when he arrived at his nearest rental location only to find that the film was checked out. "I just suddenly remembered how cool of a movie it was," said a disheartened Gretchen. "For some reason, I was really in the mood to see it."

According to video rental authorities,Gretchen was hardly alone.

But don't you tell anybody, okay?

According to the White House, President Bush conceded that the recent anti-war protests were powerful enough for him to surrender his power as president to mob rule.

"The President has decided to relinquish the power of the executive branch of the United States government granted him as commander-in-chief and turn it over to global protestors," said White House Spokesman Ari Fleischer.

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